Thursday, December 1, 2011

The BCS Still Sucks and Will Cause The Zombie Apocalypse

For years, we’ve been told that the BCS was the “best system available” to determine college football’s national champion.

Never mind that the lower divisions of college football have playoffs with great success. Never mind that the idea is pounded home that these are amateur athletes on the playing fields of a sport dominated by big money.

These are the last desperate arguments of a group barely hanging on to the cash cow that is the BCS.

Dan Wetzel of Yahoo! Sports published an article Wednesday detailing what the BCS actually is.

Five of the six computer polls used in the BCS don’t make their formulas public, so not even BCS officials know what goes into it.

We do know that two thirds of the BCS are wildly subjective human polls, known to be riddled with political bias and straight up homerism.

Ultimately, this season puts to rest the nonsense argument that the BCS puts an emphasis on the regular season. “Every game matters!” ESPN is fond of spouting, but clearly, that isn’t true.

In the past, we’ve been told teams can lose early in the season and still recover to make the championship game. Now, even that vague guideline seems to have gone out the window.

Alabama already lost to LSU once, and failed to qualify for the SEC Championship game as a result, yet they remain No. 2 in the BCS.

That’s better than Oklahoma State. The Cowboys lost just last week to an unimpressive 6-5 Iowa State team, but they remain third in the BCS.

But the untimely loss by OSU has been glossed over, and if they defeat Oklahoma to end the season they’ll be first in line of the teams that got “jobbed” by the system.

What the Hell is a computer?

Now it doesn't even seem to matter if LSU wins against Georgia this weekend. It's a foregone conclusion that they'll be in the BCS championship game if the entire squad comes down with the old Louisiana two-step (note: Cajun' food burns coming out too).

Frankly, I hate the BCS and every year I come up with a different angle from which to criticize it.

A playoff might not be better, but it would be infinitely more satisfying. The basic concept that the top teams in college football are determined by a complicated formula fully understood by no one is upsetting.

Even now my blood boils as Jesse Palmer and the strangely still employed Craig James gasbag about quality losses.

I'm gonna kill y'all

There's no such thing as a quality loss! Vince Lombardi is spinning in his grave! Bear Bryant will soon reanimate and punch you in the face if you even use the phrase, and rightfully so.

And that ultimately is the biggest problem, great coaches of the past will turn into zombies and storm ESPN, CBS and the individual homes of all BCS proponents if we don't do something to end this nonsense.

Is that really what we want? Waves of the undead fixing a problem that living humans could easily remedy?

No! We must take a stand and defend what little sanctity is left in college football. We must end the BCS any way possible, even if it means a little bloodshed.

That's food for thought. Zombie food.

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